Dean Obeidallah: The Muslims Are Coming!

posted on: Oct 15, 2009

Not only are Muslims coming — but they want to take over America! At least that’s what four Republican Members of Congress alleged today.

Representatives John Shadegg (Ariz.), Paul Broun (Ga.), Trent Franks (Ariz.) and Sue Myrick (N.C.) are alarmed because they found Muslims trying to lobby Congress. Can you believe that? Muslims-Americans actually want to have input into the American political system! Thank God (a/k/a Allah) that we have these four Congressional watch dogs on the job being paid with our tax dollars to warn of the Muslims dastardly plan to influence legislation.

These elected “officials” timed their allegation to coincide with the release of the book: Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld that’s Conspiring to Islamize America, written by Dave Gaubatz — a man who claimed last year that a vote for “Hussein Obama is a vote for Sharia Law.”

Now I want to digress for a moment to say that a “Muslim Mafia” does sound cool on some level. Americans love mafia shows so this “Muslim Mafia” could inspire the first show on US TV to star Muslims. Or maybe I like the term “Muslim Mafia” so much because my father is Muslim and my Mom is Sicilian. With this pedigree, I’m a shoe-in for a top position in the “Muslim Mafia.”

Back to the real issue: Are Muslims really trying to take over America? Most estimates indicate that there are 3-4 million Muslims in the United States. In order for Muslims to take over, simple math says they have to be at least 50 percent of the 300 million Americans. As of now, Muslims are still about 147 million people short.

In an effort to speed up the Muslim take over of America — which on some level would probably help my comedy career because I’ll get even more bookings by Muslim groups — my fellow Arab-American comedians Aron Kader and Maysoon Zayid went out to the streets of NYC with me to see if we could recruit Americans to Islam. (We did this a little while back when we first heard this allegation.) We offered prizes to people to convert to Islam, such as a toaster, a blender and even Sudoku.