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America in Arabic or Just Another Day in Egyptian Irony
“We’re going to have some great material.”
— Bassem Youssef, Egyptian political satirist after hearing the results of the first round of the 2012 Egyptian presidential election.
I knew June was going to be a rather dull time in Egypt. In the same way I knew that taking a research sabbatical for a few months in December 2010 in Cairo was the quietest way to spend the winter.
So, I opted to go to the U.S. for a month to advise on a new television show with a little-known political satirist named Bassem Youssef. Well, as little known in the Arab world as, say, Jon Stewart in the U.S. Something a little different — but like I said, Egypt was going to be so dull in June.
I’d love to write more about that new television show, which is going to be called America in Arabic. (Well, I would like to write more, but I’m just the SME for the show. Some people think that means ‘Subject Matter Expert’ — it actually means ‘Supreme Mastery of Everything.’)
Obviously, it’s going to be about America. And it’s going to be in Arabic. Well, mostly. Think of it as the next edition of Sayyid Qutb’s visit to the USA — just more funny, and with less trauma.
In the course of the last month, the crew and I met with a whole slew of fascinating characters and engaged with an eclectic cross-section of the Arab-American community (along with some others). That’s ranged from singers to stand-up comedians, business entrepreneurs, civil society activists, religious preachers — and there were quite a few people who were at least two or thee of those at the same time. Muslims, Christians, Jews and others — young and old (along with those who thought they were one, but are actually the other.)
It is a fascinating experience. Bassem’s performed in three parts of the country so far — and wherever he went, Egyptian Americans went. In droves. Partly to listen to him talk, and partly to find out if the beard he’s sporting means that he has finally succumbed and given his oath of allegiance to the Murshid of the Muslim Brotherhood. (Yes, sarcasm — please, ‘liberal’ peeps, do not freak out. Not yet, anyway — wait ’til the end.]
TheEgyptian-American community is made up of so many different types of communities. There are those that have been in the U.S. since the 1970s or before, and those who arrived in the last few years. There are immigrants who long to go back to Egypt, and then those who are American-born and know no other country other than their own: America. There are those who are Christian, and those who are Muslim. [And then people who wear both crescents and crosses around their necks just to confuse Egyptians from Egypt. As if Egyptians are not confused enough already — they just need to watch the news to get a migraine, or worse, question their own sanity.]
And, of course, there are those who voted for the Muslim Brotherhood candidate, Mohammed Morsi, who used to be in jail: and those who voted for the other guy, who was Mubarak’s last Prime Minister, and who may go to jail in the future. (Go on vacation, Shafiq, but: ‘the MB’s gonna get you, the MB’s gonna get you, the MB’s gonna get youuuuu.’)
In each city, Bassem was asked: who would you vote for? It won’t come as any surprise to anyone who watched a single episode of his show in the past year that he publically said it would be tremendously difficult for him to consider voting for Ahmed Shafiq. (Well, duh.) But here’s the easy way out — in order to vote in the runoffs while you are abroad, you have to be pre-registered two months ahead of time with the Egyptian consulate or Embassy. So, I don’t think Bassem Youssef actually voted at all — he wouldn’t have been able to.
(I can hear the boycott crew go, “He’s one of us!!!!”)
In the last few days, it has become clear: Mubarak is clinically alive (right?), the Egyptian presidency is clinically functional, the Egyptian parliament is clinically dismissed (well, it was a few minutes ago; don’t blame me if that changes by the time you read this, seeing as things do change a wee bit in Egypt), and Mohammed Morsi is not a clinical doctor, so he’s pretty much suited to the whole thing.
That Egyptian-American community heard a particular message in every single event. It wasn’t a rehearsed message — and it wasn’t a carefully crafted one. (God knows I tried.) It was a heart-felt one, which I saw evident and clear on Bassem’s face, whether on the Daily Show as a guest of Jon Stewart , or with the various fans that came to see him perform.
Bassem’s message was as follows (cue poetic license, as well as my right as author to throw some spin, and if you don’t like it, you can try to sue me in an Egyptian court [because you have about 30 years to kill]): the revolution continues, regardless of who is president, because that’s the way it is. Unite, and don’t be divided: because that’s what makes Egypt what it is. Respect the other for his or her choice, even if you made another one — because that’s revolutionary.
You don’t need to agree, but try to understand why anyway, even if the other side doesn’t or won’t. Break out of your bubbles, because we’ve lived in our bubbles for too long.
And have hope — because as difficult as things may look, as troubling as they may be and as complex as they may appear: the people of Egypt truly accomplished some miracles in the past two years.
Never doubt that. [Note to Western pundits: the Egyptians accomplished those miracles without Western assistance. Your complaints about their present predicament are very much wanted, as much as Hazem Abu Ismail is wanted in Naguib Sawiris’ party.]
The revolution continues. And in the finest Egyptian tradition, with quite a few jokes.
H.A. Hellyer
Huffington Post